


Ink Spill

by orphan_account



Category: Arthur Fleck - Fandom, Joker (2019), Joker (Film), Joker - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:13:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21722035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A short fic about Arthur writing in his journal. Enjoy!Mention and description of suicide.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 42





	Ink Spill

Arthur sat shirtless at his kitchen table, knees bouncing. His journal lay open in front of him. He thumbed through to the well-worn pages, looking at the clipped-out pictures from pornographic magazines.

His hands itched to touch himself, thinking about a scene from a black and white movie he had watched on tv late the night before. In the movie, the lead actress had wrapped her arms around the man, her velvet red lips reaching for his. The had kissed deeply, hands caressing each other’s faces and bodies and even thinking about it now, Arthur felt himself aching.

Arthur sighed. He had imagined himself as the man over and over, craving for someone to be near him in that way. Throughout the day he had grown increasingly aroused as the scene played on repeat in his head.

Normally he would just masturbate, but his mother had been sleeping lightly recently and the apartment walls were so thin, he didn’t want to risk her walking in on him again. So instead he sat at the kitchen table and hoped that he could write the frustration away.

Pushing the hair off his face, he leaned back in the chair and thought about everything that frustrated him. His lack of a sexual and romantic life. His inability to have meaningful connections with people. The way his social worker didn’t seem to listen to anything he ever said.

Arthur started to laugh, the choked noise building in his chest. His heart broke as he thought about how so many of the things that frustrated him seemed to be about himself.

He let the laugh escape his lips, trying to muffle the noise by slapping a hand over his mouth.

_Think about something else, anything else_ , he thought to himself. The laughing passed, his throat cramping from the forced noise and he began to think about the woman in the film again.

He tapped his foot against the cracked linoleum floor.

Lighting a cigarette, he reached for his pen and began writing the first thing that came to his mind.Wen I was a little boy, I wached the woman fall from the window, her body fallin so fast if I had blinkt I wood have missed it. She hit the concreet be low and the sound made my stomik hurt. I wached as they took her arms and legs away but not her head cents she fell head first out of the window.

Wen I wached it happen I thawt to myself I wonder y she fell out, but now that I am older I no that she jumped and that wen she hit the grownd she must have bin smiling cents she knew all the pain was over.

Arthur gripped the pen tightly, a tear rolling down his face as he recalled the almost forgotten memory. He didn’t feel the urge to laugh. He watched as the tear hit the paper.

He brought the pen to his mouth, gently biting on the hard plastic in an attempt to stop the flow of tears he knew was coming, His hands started to shake, and he bit down harder and harder until the pen snapped in his mouth, ink bursting from the broken plastic.

Arthur spit the pen out. The sticky black ink smudged across his hands; the words he had just written on the page melted together into a black puddle. He could taste the ink in his mouth and on his lips.

Arthur looked at the mess he had made, black ink dripping onto his chest, smeared across his hands, and the page unreadable. He sighed and thought _I should have just masturbated_. 


End file.
